i need medicine please :(

life is hectic right now. iv got so much college work to do! 2 essays due in tomorrow and trust me when i say its so hard i have no idea how to even start my second essay let alone finish it in time for tomorrow! and if i do i doubt its up to the standards its expected to be at. Plus to add on top of that i have the worst cold in the whole entire world and it sucks :( i had the worst nights sleep and officially have no energy to do anythng. Its made even worse by the fact that i have the glitter ball in memory of cousin coming up on saturday and im so upset incase im not well enough to attend. especially after iv splashed out on the tickets, a new LBD, and the whole full works. lastly men. as it happens iv gone off of love, off of men, off of heartache. their just not worth it anymore, im closing the door on men till after the new year. im just not guna think about them :) thank god for having true friends to snap you back into reality about how you survived all those childhod years without a man in your life so why are they so bloody important now?! Louise&Imy i love you soooo much <3 anyway i need to finish my coursework now so i guess this is my goodbye for a while. Godbless xxx

the list.

My list of things to do in the future (still adding more to it…) Date someone who has visible tattoos - Do something your friends don’t approve of - Have some photos taken of you that you really like - Learn to drive - Evolve your look & scare yourself (often!) - Fall devastatingly, helplessly, head-over-heels in love - Photo shoot with friends or family - Have a change of hairstyle - Save up and go on a girly trip to London - Travel - Host a garden party – drinks, BBQ, Marquee, music, friends - Be brave and ask more guys for their numbers

???

bang, bang you shot me down.

im done with love. done with hurt. done with liking someone only to realise im being strung along. im tired of the constant wondering and the pointlessness of everything inbetween. its only after that you realise that what some people think is so perfect - that whole, first proper meeting and all that - is actually just a waste of time. im sick of feeling like this - feeling vunerable & that odd feeling of happiness you get when you like someone. i cant stand it anymore! i cant stand being so easy going, i want to shout and scream and tell the whole world why im locking up my heart! i sat and wondered about love today. wondered why it makes the world go round, why it twists things upside down and why an earth it can lead someone to self distruct. how can something so unexplainable have so much power over a person? it puzzles me to an extent that i physically feel so angry thinking about how men can so heartlessly lead a girl on and drop her. its always worse when its the nice guys too, i mean the players i can handle - i expect it from them. but the nice ones, the actualy generally lovely men that first become your friends, then more... can simply drop you. leaving you not only annoyed but kinda hurt to. im not asking for alot, not looking for love that will last a lifetime, just someone and something that will treat me the way a girl should be treated. with respect and love. i dont want a perfect relationship, i just want for both people to be happy. i wont lie, i know im alot to handle and i have my faults but who doesnt? so many times iv thought... well hes lovely and they've turned out to just be complete twats, well not now. im done. liking someone just is not enough these days, looks and everything come into play and face it if you dont have the looks you have no chance. the world has become a stuck up place and if you dont fit in, society calls you eveything else but the word beautifull. maybe ill learn from today and possibly stop regretting the choice of not kissing you when i should have. yes i admit it finally, theres a man behind the reasoning to post this blog. but isnt there always?

oh baby

So what if it hurts me? so what if i break down? so what if this world just throws me off the edge & my feet run out of ground? i gotta find my place, i wanna hear my sound, dont care about all the pain infront of me, cause im just tryna be happy, [8] ♥

LBD; red shoes and champs... yumm.

yes i have the worst taste in men. unfortunatly you wont be hearing about jamie anymore. ill bare you the boringness of hearing about what happened but ill fill you in a little. it turns out that hes just another arsehole that fancied a few kisses and then decided to fuck off again. i admit he is gorgeous and charming etc etc etc, but come one - do i seriously need that in my life? NO. anyway moving on LAURENS BALL IS COMING UP!!! excited much? guys in suits and all the girls in dresses - talk about glitz and glam. i can not wait to dress up and be sophisticated, and i will somehow get my hands on a glass of champagne whether the waiters give me it or i have to steal it! mwahaha. i looooveee that i have some girlies coming with me, and believe that a MASS sleepover after is needed because in all honesty i would really like a catch up with them :) can i just add that i have seen the most amazing pair of RED SHOES in Newlook for £10! yes being the bargin queen i am iv set my heart on them to complete my outfit and add abit of colour. they are beauts tbh :D but anyway i close by sending lots of heartfelt love to my girlies coming and goodnight<3