H'Baby <3
i hate change, although i understand that change is part of life i cant help but think life would be so much easier if change didn't have to happen. things would stay the same, people would be the same people you originally met and you would be happy. behind these eyes are the feeling i don't show, the thoughts that cloud my mind and the memories of how things used to be. 'I'd do anything to go back to the earlier days' everybody says it and i understand why now, because despite everything back then everything seemed completely compelling and beautiful, it all seemed to good to be true. it took me so long to trust someone after all the hurt and pain iv been through, so the fact that i have my boyfriend nick is an amazing thing.
with that being said, something seems different. sounds silly, and I'm probably digging myself a hole by keeping asking if every things okay but its just because somehow i feel incomplete. I'm the sort of person that enjoys having a fuss made over them, deep down I'm a true romantic, i love the whole essence of it all. taking it in turns to go to each other place to hang out, the odd sweet text to show your thought about, the endless positive comments making you feel truly untouchable etc. god knows i love my boyfriend so much, i maybe young and foolish but still not too young to know the difference between lust and love. i love being able to talk about pointless things, never running out of things to talk about n the phone, i love laughing and joking until my tummy hurts, i love being wanted. and somehow i just don't feel like that at the moment. weather that be because of my own insecurities and I'm just picking up the negative things or if that be because the honeymoon period has ended. either way one thing i know is that i love him more then any amount of words could ever possibly express.
