i want to write something that means something to you, something that will in some way change all the bad things that lead us to here. All I have are these endless words that could not possibly begin to convey the first inkling of the emotions that I have felt recently. These words, that don't string together as seamlessly as they once did. These words, that could never mean half as much to you as they to me when they're scribbled from my fingertips.
One day, I hope to be able to explain exactly what it is about you that makes you bigger than this whole world, that makes you everything that I know I'll ever need. I spend a lot of time wishing that when this day does arrive, I am not too late to capture some of the magic that I know you've kept safe for us.
i love you but its hard to forget the things that have happened. its the little things that make it harder i guess you could say. somehow not everything feels the same. all i know is my heart aches a little every now and again and pulses faster at the thought of you and i not finding away to forget.
i cant just forget, i feel so uneasy and intimidated around other girls.
i dont feel beautiful, i dont fit it. i dont feel good enough.
you'll never knw what it feels like to wake up in the mornings and wish you could rub away your skin, have new face, new body. something worthy of what you deserve.
i'll proberly never be enough for you. you deserve the best and i guess thats not me.
i make myself feel ill when i look at myself, it takes every ounce of strength in me not to smash my mirror and carve the words on me that echo in my head.. FAT, WASTE, NOTHING.
i know deep down your regretting this. us. me.
i hate how much i love you.
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