aaron parkes x

i have wrecked eveything.

aaron says i havent lost him and that he loves me but somehow i still feel like hes distanted himself from me in every way possible. this is killing me more then any blade on my wrist hurting. its a pain that wrences on your heart and makes it heavy to hold.

i dont think i could bare it if he left me now. i think weve come to far to not keep trying.

my relapse is just a blip in our wonderful 10months together.

i want to be able to make it a year and look back at how iv changed.

he makes me feel different.

i dont look at myself and repulse as much as i used to.

sometimes the simplest hug from him makes me love life again.

iv not felt like that in a long time.

im sorry i hurt you aaron

i never meant to your my world and the reason i breathe.

were in it for the long hall and i need you to know that i am your number one fan when it comes to olf and ill support you through the hardest of times.

i dont expect you to understand my problems but cuddle me when i look like i need it.

your amazing and youve done sucha good job already looking after me.

i just beg you dont let me bring you down, dont leave me because of this.

my inseurities CAN be fixed. i promise you that.

i just need help, from you, your love is my medicine.

it kills me to see im the reason for you being ill :(

i rip the small pieces of my heart up eachtime i see you not smiling.

and knowing im the one that causes the aches in your heart and the pains.

give me a chamce to show you i can mak you happy.

im crying writing this because iv never known someone like you,

you complete me and make me better.

our mistakes in the past do not affect my everlasting love for you and your family.

i hope oneday you can love me like you used to and your family accept me back.

untill then i hope you see how perfect things can be....

keep strong and smiling

your girl x